Sex is NOT “Dirty”
The following essay was an opinion piece written for and submitted to the New York Times Opinion section. Unfortunately, it wasn’t published.
Words Matter. Jessica Kiang’s review of the movies at the Berlin Film Festival posted on March 5, 2021, was an example of how the New York Times has completely missed the importance of words and their meaning. I place the blame squarely on the editors for failing to see how both the article’s headline, and statements made about specific films, continue to propagate harmful attitudes towards sex and sexuality.
We hold, as self-evident, that outdated opinions—such as racist and/or misogynistic views—are not shielded by the holder’s ignorance, personal bias, or socialization. Yet, time and time again, corporations, the media, and, yes, the New York Times, seem to keep making this error when it comes to having frank conversations about sex and sexuality.
The title of the article describing the film, “Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn,” by Radu Jude—a Golden Bear Winner at the Berlin International Film Festival—as a “Dirty Winner …” is the most egregious offense by the New York Times editors. As we know, many people only skim or read the titles of articles these days and, therefore, headlines should be crafted with the greatest care. We only have to look at Fox News for all the ways that headlines can be perverted to communicate implications that are misleading. Further in her review, she uses the word “dirty” and “dirtier” to specifically imply movies depicting sexual acts, or perhaps just exploring sexual themes, are somehow lesser. When we describe someone as a “dirty woman,” or a “dirty old man,” every inference from the use of the word “dirty” is negative.
There is an incredible irony in the fact that the New York Times is publishing an article, with emphasis in the headline, that synonymizes sexual activity with the word “dirty,” when describing a movie that was made with the intent of pointing out the hypocrisy of modern society’s attitudes towards healthy sexual expression. While I haven’t had the opportunity to see the film, it has been described as a film about a teacher—a woman—who is vilified because she created a private sex tape with her husband that was made public on the internet without her consent. The main character is attacked and threatened with the loss of her job because of it. The trailer ends with a man asking her, “Is it true you are a porn actress?”
A brief survey of other media outlets that covered the award at the Berlin Film Festival such as Variety, the Hollywood Reporter, or the Guardian, contained no such references equating depictions of sex, sexual activity, or dealing with sexual themes, with words that are negative in connotation. That distinction is singular to the New York Times.
What should bother us most of all is that we are losing the battle, some might even say the right, to healthy expressions of sex and sexuality in this country. Social media, entertainment corporations like Disney, and even the news media are quietly removing depictions of nudity, healthy sexual expression, and factual information about sex from our daily lives. It’s as if we are pretending that sex is not an important part of who we are as human beings. The downstream impacts of this reality could have grave implications for women, young adults, and the freedom that so many people in this country claim to care about.
Photo by C Technical from Pexels
The evidence is hard to refute. Women who participate in a complete sexual health program—that includes information about sexual pleasure—showed dramatic decreases in attempted rapes and attempted sexual coercion. Teenagers who have conversations with their parents about sex are significantly more likely to use contraception. One study showed that sexual health education for adolescent women dramatically reduced adverse sexual outcomes such as STI’s and unintended pregnancy. Despite the fact that teenagers seem to be having less sex these days, stigmatizing sex (by calling it a “risk behavior”) is more harmful for their development. I think it is fair to say that using the word “dirty” to describe sex and sexual activity is “stigmatizing.”
The World Health Organization says that “Sexual health is FUNDAMENTAL to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries.” In the United States the CDC describes sex as a “risk” behavior. What’s worse, is that only 24 states (and the District of Columbia) have mandated sex education programs for teens and adolescents. While the rest of the world seems to be moving forward in this area, the United States is heading backwards.
The words you use matter to a lot of people. As one of the largest news media outlets in the United States, the New York Times needs to consider this in all aspects of its reporting. I am not an “expert” in the field of sex education or health. I am just a citizen who believes that a better world includes healthy and open conversation about sex and sexuality.
More people need to stand up for this freedom.
This essay represents the opinion of the writer and should be considered as such. Any thoughts or statements about persons real or imagined are opinions.
Copyright © 2021 - Malcolm Bolivar. All Rights Reserved.